WHAT!!!! The chicken flew the coup, well you know what im gunna hunt that motherfucker down.

So it's been a pretty good while since i've wrote in this thing, figured its about time to grace these wonderful collections of numeric codes reorganized into visual images, well alots changed in the past few months since i last wrote, disappointed again by someone i've known for 8 years of my life i knew better and i dont blame anyone but myself and her slightly i just need to leave her in the past where she belongs, i've been workin like a dog but the money's worth it for now, i just wanted to write in here and get a little off my chest basically vent i guess in a well informed manner if i can, I am tired of always being depended on and no one's there for me to depend on does anyone ask if im ok nope they all just spew out they're problems to me this is wrong thats wrong fix this, help me finsih this up, and when you do all that then go fuck yourself cause pretty much everything is more important other than when i need you to help me feel better this applys to alot of people thats how i feel, I'm just to much of a worry you've got something more important to do or not enough so on and so forth well guess what motherfuckers i have things to do i have stuff going on i have alot of shit stressing me out usually, just cause the doors open doesn't mean you can just walk in and out of it whenver, cause one day that doors gunna shut and either you gunna stuck on the outside or you gunna be stuck on the inside, i'm just tired honestly of doing things and you expecting people might one day do the same for me when i need, dont fool yourself people think about themselves first. Alot of people it seems like want your help when they're down or having a hard time well i dont feel bad sayin no anymore i dunno how many times i've layed in the mud face down drowning and been trying my best to say i need help i need someone to talk to for more than five minutes cause i've had a really bad day or am depressed apparently that is way to much to ask and doesnt make sense to anyone except maybe one person EP, so i've ranted enough, if you read this thanks for reading :) if not well it doesnt matter.

Friends

Bright light almost blinding, black night still there shining,
I can't stop, keep on climbing, looking for what I knew.

Had a friend, she once told me, "You got love, you ain't lonely,"
Now she's gone and left me only looking for what I knew.

Mmm, I'm telling you now, The greatest thing you ever can do now,
Is trade a smile with someone who's blue now, It's very easy just...

Met a man on the roadside crying, without a friend, there's no denying,
You're incomplete, they'll be no finding looking for what you knew.

So anytime somebody needs you, don't let them down, although it grieves you,
Some day you'll need someone like they do, looking for what you knew.

Mmm, I'm telling you now, The greatest thing you ever can do now,
Is trade a smile with someone who's blue now, It's very easy just...



This is probaly in my top five songs of all time, I figured I would share it anywho.

Luminis

We've known each other only a few months if you use time as a measurement of knowing.
That doesn't seem to accurately describe how long we've known each other or how well we know each other.
I feel like maybe i've known you alot longer we just weren't able to communicate.
Maybe we have been communicating all these years through some unknown mean's of communication.
Maybe we've been standing there oblivous to the other's prescence all this time communicating through silence.
Well we don't have to communicate through that mean's anymore, we've found other ways to communicate.
Our relationship could be complicated to someone standing outside looking in.
We're on the inside though me and you we can see it plain as day, we love and care about each other every second every minute every day and every year.
I think why it may seem complicated to other's is because they dont have our light, rememeber our light?
I do and I know you do as well, it light's our way every single day, our path maybe dark, menacing or bright and wonderous both at times, but I'm still there holding you hand and your squeezing back in confirmation.
We have our light could you imagine how dark it would be without our light?
So we have to keep going me and you, there's still dark corner's and darkened space's of unknown expanse to explore together.
We may not know whats in them until we illuminate them,but we've got our light so let's use it.
We're still exploring still learning still moving forward in the darkness,our heart,soul and mind connected, being guided by that certain light created by us for us.


Baby, I just wanna show you what a clear view
It is from every bend in the road
As I was and really would be for you too, honey
As you would for me
Oh, I would share your load
Let me share your load
Oh, let me share, share your load
And if you feel that you can't go on
In the light you will find the road
The winds of change may blow around you
But that will always be so
When love is pain it can devour you
But you are never alone
I will share your load
I will share your load
Baby, let me, let me
In the light
Everybody needs a light
Oh baby, in the light, in the light, in the light....

I love you.

My Reality

What would you do if your whole world turned upside down if everything you believe was actually false and everything you didnt believe was actually true.The things you see and touch and do may not be real you know where do we get our conception's of what is real. Thats what worries me i dont really know whats real. I feel like maybe when i die I'll realize what's real I'll realize that I'm dead now that'll be real or atleast thats what i believe. My realities blurred when i was younger it was so cut and dry this is real this isnt dont worry about this because it isn't real you know. Nowawadays i'm not not really sure of whats real there's only a few things i know thats real for a fact thats concrete harder than anything else, unbreakable and always will be but really i dont know if I'm real anymore i think maybe i'm just a creation of everyone else like maybe I'm just being imprinted upon but sometimes i do feel like I'm a creation of myself like i've completly created myself no one else can claim this, no one can have that kind of power over me i wont let them if they try and claim it I can promise them they'll be in for way more than they ever imagined. I'm pretty good at deducing truth's because of the mere fact i hate deceptions. Sometimes i feel thats a bad thing because i question everything i persecute it and interoggate it untill it hates me and tells me the truth out of spite, i guess it just really hurts I value truth alot and so much of life is a deception, but what is truth really if i live like this does it mean anything honestly if I'm pushing things so hard just to get to what is really true the core of the apple you might say, if I'm pushing these things over and over eventually they'll break or confirm my belief's which is a terrible thing. Why am i so concerned with these truth's? because i NEED to know the truth even if it destroys me i have to know the truth of it. I also want to know because i dont want to be living in a deception i want everything to be real and if it's not the truth it's just not real don't fool yourself into a lie because thats not real it's not living but then again who knows whats real and whats not but i know whats real for me and i have to know the truth to keep these things real for me.

Help

What do you do when you wanna help someone, do you comfort them and tell them everything is gunna be alright that seems kinda shallow, but what else can you do? Well i'll tell you what you can do you can be there for them regardless of everything be there support pillar something they can lean on even when they don't realize they're falling over you need to be there to push them back up even if they dont realize your pushing them back up. You stand strong hold them close and never let them go whatever obstacles may get in the way you overcome them because really they're supporting you, if you'll notice your also leaning at an angle to support them so if they were'nt there you would fall over as well, I'm willing to to risk falling over to be honest because i know it's worth it in the end it really is worth it. Sure you may both fall on your face but you'll be laying there together so what does it really matter? I know someone i would do anything for special isnt even the word to describe this person to me, soulmate, other half maybe these are words to describe this person but there's so much more to this person than just words i feel like i should invent a new word to describe her and how she makes me feel, I should just create a completly new word that would fit her but i dont think that's possible describing what she means to me how she makes me feel what she does for me isnt possible and i feel like maybe it isnt conveyed to her maybe that's why i want to make this new word. I know one thing I'm gunna be there for her regardless I dont care what it take's what sacrifice's i have to make what things i might gain, none of that matter's what matter's to me is that she lets me be there for her and help her when she needs it that feels wonderful better than wonderful actually i guess i might need to create a new word for it to but thats for another day and another time. I love you.

Trying

I try.

I try to do the best i can.
I try to make you as happy as i can.
I try to make your life happier and brighter.
I try and I will never quit trying for you.
I try even when I'm sinking and drowning i still try for you.

I am drowning, drowning in my own sorrow, in my own helplessness.
I am drowning and who's gunna save me, does anyone even care to.

Maybe they just don't know I'm drowning.
Maybe I'm not flailing about enough not making enough racket to draw their attention.

I'm still drowning though and i know no one's gunna save me.
I'm still drowning and maybe it's ok to drown.

When i drown maybe they'll realize i was sinking at a pace faster than the speed of sound.
When i drown what's gunna happen is everything gunna be alright then.

Maybe I'm just drowning to fast for anyone to realize it.
Maybe I just dont matter enough to be pulled to safety.

Right before i drown maybe that's when i'll be saved but by then it'll be to late for anyone to try and save me.
Right before the last bit of oxygen is absorbed into my bloodstream and i scream for help but no one will be able to hear by then I'll be to far gone, maybe that's when I'll be worth saving.

Infinite

The concept of infinity has always sparked an interest within me for some reason, I guess because there are so many things in this life that are finite and have to have an ending a resolution or so we think, not all things require a resolution an ending persay, take light for example it never ends it continue's onward and onward maybe there's something in the way but it just bounces off of it and continue's in a new direction some of it is absorbed however different colors of it's spectrum and so on but it keeps going not stopping and continuing not concerned by it's loss because eventually it will be reunited with that part of itself. Infinity is a big concept for most people to grasp, how can something continue on forever and ever? We as people dont understand this why because we think in endings, we see that our lives will end one day and that what we do will only be measured by what we accomplished what imprint we left on this world within the limited time span we had to accomplish them. So why waste what little time we have well honestly we dont know how long our live's will last yeah we're all gunna die but who's to say that's not an entirely new beggining of sorts, now im not saying i believe in an afterlife but im not saying i dont either maybe there is maybe there isnt i'll find out when i die that's for sure. The weird thing about light is, it is techinically every color and when we look at something every color is in it but the thing is that only the color thats being reflected is the one we see. Now if you look at life like that maybe life is every color but we're only seeing the one thats being reflected at us over and over again so we fall into this neverending cycle of seeing this color we dont realize that all the other colors are there, we just need to find a way to see these color's. How would we do that you ask, well that is a good question, for me i just take a different view on it to see the other color's but i dont forget the color's i've already seen that would be ignorant. Our lives are filled with these color's some of them bright and exciting some of them dark and menancing. We have to seek out these bright color's though forget the dark one's that would bring us down because there really is alot more dark one's than bright one's but who care's we still have the bright one's to blot out the dark one's.

Roaming. This one's for you.

Roaming

We're all roaming this lonely place searching for something bright and beautiful.
Something to light our darkness, something that will be there to ease our fears and help us even in the dark.

Well we've found our light, we've found our something, me and you we've found our comfort our love our light within the darkness.
We'll never have to wander through the darkness again lost and stumbling alone without a light.

This place isnt as bad as we may think.
It's full of wonderful things and horrible things.

The wonderful things so full of joy and hope and laughter.
The horrible things so sinsiter and corrupting they might eat us alive.

We all need someone close to our hearts to keep us true and safe in this dark world.
To keep us on the right path,everyone does.

How lucky we are to have this place to roam together.
To not be stuck alone and empty in an empty world.

However bad or great this place maybe atleast we have it to roam together.
We can hold each other's hand and be our own light.

This world is dark as you know we need a light.
We must create our own light out in this darkness.

Alone it would be impossible.
Together nothing could be any simpilier.

The light we create can't necessarily be seen by others, neither can the darkness that fills the world.
But the purpose of our light doesnt change it still illuminates what we desire it to and fills our world with overwhelming brightness giving us hope.

With our light it will never be dark again never will we wonder whats in that dark corner.
Because we have our light to illuminate it.

To reveal its secrets to us and ease our fears.
We have our light now.

Lets explore together all the dark corners and hidden spaces that have been untouched until now.
Lets go together into this darkness not afraid but filled with joy and love guided by our light.

The light You and I created together.

Wild ones can never be tamed.

Second posting mothaf***kas, ok wild way to start my second blog posting but yeah thats how i like it. So this one really has nothing to do with my title, when I was younger i had this very perculiar thing happen to me, so i was about ten or eleven or somewhere in there. Here's what happened i was sitting with my grandpa on the porch i don't know what we were talking about,I was just being a little kid, so this firetruck pulls up in the yard and not your modern firetruck but an old school one bubble style and stuff like that, but i noticed no one was driving this firetruck i asked about it but got no answer, I got up and tried to go out there but I got in big trouble for some reason really big trouble, how could no one be driving this firetruck, and what was really going on why did no one want me to go out there, I still dont know to this day, everyone tells me it was a dream that it wasnt real but it felt so real i remember it as clear as day the firetruck, me getting in trouble , it being a sunny day is just as vivid in my memory as the day it happened, maybe it happened maybe it didnt. The point is if this isn't real it shows how much our reality can be altered,how clearly we can remember something that didnt even happen, our minds are wonderful things and can do just about anything. Another thought of mine is that maybe we just create this huge reality with our own mind maybe this is really just all a type of collective thought, strange things happen in our world but the really weird thing to think about is that maybe all the strange things are actually the normal things and they just happen so infrequently we dont consider them normal, consider this before electricity there were no lights, tv's, stereoes, computers, and all the other stuff thats powered by it, well if you were alive before any of that and were suddenly thrown into it wouldn't you consider it just a bizarre dream, something that could never be reality, well it is reality and we live in it everyday, think about that.

Alta Alatis Patent Description.

Ok so i started this thing thanks to someone's encouragement anyway, so i looked for a while different sayings different phrases, words, images, different things I thought would inspire a good title, well eventually I just searched through latin pharses. I've always liked latin for some reason not stupid pig latin but actual latin. The words just fit together perfectly and sound really kewl to what can i say. Well i found this one "Alta Alatis Patent", or the sky is open to those who have wings, why i chose this title you ask well i'll tell you. This saying holds alot of truth i think the sky really is open to those who have wings limitless and unbound are those who have wings, the sky doesnt necessarily have to mean what you think of as the sky, the thing thats above your head you know look up and you'll see it anyway, it could mean oppurtunities or challenges or things we aspire toward or any number of things however you look at it, to me it holds something very dear, oppurtunity exploration, and desire. We desire to fly around endlessly in the sky to be free from all these shackles that bind us, to go beyond our reality to explore something completly different and new and exciting to us.We want the oppurtunity to be free to just fly around without a care in the world, if you can say you wouldn't enjoy that well i think there maybe something wrong with you. Flying appeals to us in so many ways we're free from gravity not governed by silly rules or distances that maybe holding us back. We can go wherever we want and do whatever we like. This is true for life also in a metaphorical sense we want to go explore our lives to find new and great things to fill it with. If we could fly around freely through our lives not being forced to walk around in a certain path things would come easier to us. I've walked around plenty in my life and i still wish i could fly instead of walk, but i think we might truly be able to fly around if we would just realize we do have wings and just spread them and fly, not be afraid of them or the endless possiblities they allow us,because it is a little frightening to know we could have any oppurtunity we desire. So thats enough for tonite maybe this makes sense maybe not it made sense to me.